My car is now a tricycle.

Clankitty Clank goes my 3 wheeled car as one of my wheels come off and rolls speedily down the road.  It looks like I have bitten off more than I can chew and something has to give and I don’t know what.  I am probably going to ramble on here so store up all your wisdom and advice and hit me with it when I am done venting/thinking/pondering and contemplating.

You know how you never say I have NEVER pranged my car because you feel you will jinx things and Murphy and his law will ensure you do just such a thing.  Well I don’t want to say anything about my Dystonia and mouth but let’s just say the Redilev meds seem to be finally working.  Yay! The issue is the combo of Rivotril and Redilev make me sleepy which makes it hard to study.

The studies…well my psyche subjects are very interesting this year and I am analyzing people left, right and center including myself.  Because I want to finish in 5 years I have taken on 8 modules and the workload is rough.  I write 4 exams in May/June and the rest of the year will be easier.   Gary wants me to give up something and says the studies are too much.  Let me explain to you why I want to study in no particular order:     
It’s interesting and challenges how I think and how I see the world.    I feel myself growing and changing and my belief systems evolving.
At 17 I was told to study social work.  I never did and they say it’s never too late so now is the time.  I believe I can be an excellent counselor/therapist/social worker.  Are we allowed to call ourselves excellent?  Nelson Mandela says we can.  We don’t have to play small.  I am empathetic, non judgmental, I listen, I have life experience, I love people, I love my country, I am not afraid to challenge what I believe is wrong or unfair or unjust. 
I have NO financial independence.  In the past few years I have seen 2 good men who loved their wives have affairs.  Both were having a rough time and felt emasculated and looked for affirmation in the wrong place.  Marriages and families were crushed.  I have lost my security.  Gary can promise me but we cannot predict the future.  I was cheated on once before many years ago and left with debt and no money or support, a house I had to manage and pay for and a 3 month infant in my arms that I had to mother with a very broken heart.  I am battle scarred, I am afraid to be totally vulnerable.  This is no reflection on my Gary who loves me and is most likely to care for me for all my days.   I want to know I can have a career and earn an income.  Yes I know it won’t pay well but it’s what I need to feel safe.  (I sound screwed up.  Life, it leaves us with scars)   
I have already invested over 2 years and have 3 to go.  To give up now would be such a waste.
I love having a sense of purpose.  I am not drifting aimlessly.  I am on a mission and it feels good.

So the downside is obviously the time commitment.  I never do lunches, teas, birthdays, baby showers, coffee dates.  I am at my desk every day.  From 2.20 its critter time and then I run around the whole afternoon.   It’s a huge commitment and UNISA is lonely.  No lectures, fellow students etc.  Just me and my goal of earning my degree and having a meaningful career and a salary.  Having a purpose when my kids are teens and only need me for lifts and cash.   So I can’t give it up.  I don’t want to 90% of the time.  The other 10% I want to quit is normal.

OK, so the studies stay.  Next…my triathlons.  Last year I set myself that goal and I did 2 so far.  The feeling of achieving such a big goal was amazing.  The discipline and dedication that this sport requires is enormous.  I am not athletic and could not run or cycle but I am Dutch and we are known to be a tough and tenacious bunch.  That little girl who had her finger in the wall to stop the water in the story where she saved her town, little Dutch girl!   (not saying dyke, you will all be rude!)   Now I have this goal of my 1^st off road Tri next weekend  and the Olympic distance Tri in 10 weeks time and I so want to achieve it.  I am enjoying having a coach and although bloody tired, sticking to the programme.   Today is the first day I have not stuck to it.   Yesterday I half fainted and fell over hitting my arm and my body is saying NO.  I need to rest today.  I am going to get some supplements to keep my weight and energy levels up.    When the event is over I will take a few months off and do lighter training until closer to the Tri in October I want to do.  As for Ironman 70.3, I don’t think it’s going to be possible.  That one I might have to let go. 

Next huge weight to carry, managing my household and critters and the afternoons.   I love being a mom.   I used to want to be a stay at home mom and I was for 3 years and then I started the charity which I ran for 5 years and then it was surrogacy and then studying.  I have always felt I am a good mother although lately I think I am not getting it right as I am just too over extended.    Daniel is OK.  He is 17 so the world revolves around him and his GF.   It’s OK, time will pass and he will grow up and once again consider how I feel and appreciate and see me.  That sense of entitlement will change.  My stress with him is getting him through matric and into varsity.  I am not going into the whole London thing but seeing him not take advantage of such an enormous opportunity was disappointing.   I would love more help and support from him, affection, appreciation but he is 17 so I am likely to get dirty laundry and old mouldy plates left up in his room with the odd gesture of affection instead.  Its OK, really, it’s OK.
Rebeka, my sweet one who is so distressed to see me so close to cracking.  I feel guilty that I don’t hide it better as she feels responsible.  She is the ONLY one in my family who will try and help.  Who notices.   She is trying so hard to do her bit.  On Saturday I am taking her out on my appreciate her day.  Today she gives anon Valentine’s gifts to everyone so no one feels left out.   I wish I could take her away for 2 days and re fill her with what she gives out.  3 boys asked to be her Valentine.  The Valentine who marries her one day, he gets a prize of priceless worth.
And Sofie, giving me the most stress.   She is drowning at school.  She has not bonded with her teacher.  The 1^st male teacher she has had.  She is struggling socially.  She doesn’t want to go to school.  She loves her music and choir and art and drama.  Just not school stuff.  She struggles to concentrate, she falls behind.  Her writing and spelling is bad.  I suspect she might be ADD too but I have tried to deny it forever.  With Daniel being ADHD it’s been a long road.  Sofie has had all those tummy issues for years.  Add Ritalin to her little body?   I just don’t know.  I need to see her teacher and my paed Pete White.   I do know some of her social issues could be ADD related.  I might try low dose Ritalin for 3 months and see.  The thought of it, makes me sick.

So what gives…nothing.  I can’t give up anything so my only option is to get help with the kids.  I know you think they do too many extra murals but I come from that generation where you just got on with it.  Good at something…no extra coaching.  Sh*t at something, no extra help.   Homework was up to you, do it, don’t do it.  We are that under parented generation who over parent.   I want them to have the opportunities.  To try things like music and art and drama.   To be well rounded.  And please don’t think I make them do stuff they don’t want to.  Sofie begged me for 3 years to start rhythmic gymnastics which she had to give up dance for.  I have just taken Rebeka out of dance.  They now ride with Carmin when they can so they can fit in drama and eisteddfod and have given up teacher Meg who they love and horses Lilly and Charlie.   I could say no to lots of things and make my life easier but I am their mom and I create their base to grow on.  To explore and develop their gifts, talents and interests so they can be ready and confident to be launched into the world one day with the world at their feet.   

But this is too long now and I need to hit my books.  Plan: see teacher, see paed, see my own doc (still have swollen lymph) and also my psyche for a head shrinking session.  See if I can get some help a few days a week.  Get on those supplements.  Hold a family meeting and explain to all where I am at.  Right, back on horse/in car with that wheel tentatively put back on.   I will get a hold of my life, I have to.

Finding your thing

Like all people I have a mix of friends with varying characteristics and differences.  Between my kids, studies and my exercise I have very little time to do anything social especially during the week.  Unfortunately it means I seldom see the non active friends but my course load is terrifying this year so if I want to continue my goal of distinctions all round this is the way it has to be.

Why a 5 year honours degree with distinctions?  Why a Triathlon sprint that has now become an Olympic distance goal?   Why so extreme?   It seems I now have a scientific answer thanks to one of my psyche subjects which is Abnormal behavior and mental health.  Anxiety and depression are often genetic and we are born with a predisposition to one or both.  My entire family battles or have had to battle these demons and my grandmother eventually lost the battle in her seventies when she took her own life.  I think she would have led a very different life had she been on meds but it was a different time back then.

Anyway, as you know Anxiety is my thing.  It has been wild lately.  I have a box of xanor but they are very addictive so I save them for emergency days.  Other days are talking myself through a situation, breathing and of course exercise which I am now completely addicted to.  I really believe its the chemical endorphins as I feel irritable if I am forced to have a few days break.  My body is super sensitive to drugs and anti-deps are not possible for me.  But I am waffling on.  Back to my extreme goals and behaviour.  I read people predisposed to anxiety are also predisposed to anxiety producing behaviour.  Yes I know what you thinking: chicken-egg, which comes first.  Am I anxious because I am making choices to do scary big things or do I choose to do these things because and have this underlying anxiety and the predisposition to choose these challenges.  I remember being about 15 and we had a school play.  I was terrified of public speaking like many out there so what did I do, I forced myself to try out and got the part and had to stand on stage speaking my part wanting to vomit from nerves.  (I was pretty terrible)  I also got a part time job as a lecturer in my early twenties also feeling a little sick each time I had to speak.   Of course later I conquered this fear when I started my charity Bosom Buddies and spoke at many events.   Studying, doing Triathlons, wanting to enter Survivor, climb Kilimanjaro, start a career at 46...great fodder for Agatha.  I could be peaceful and walk my dog every day and chill in my home and meet friends and have time to cook supper early so afternoon extra mural fetching could be less stressful.   I could swim in the sea just because I love it and not force myself to swim 2.2km at 6 in the morning.   I would be calmer I think.  For a while.  And then I would be restless.  I would need that adrenalin, cortisol, the rush of the challenge and the purpose of the goal.  Agatha in small doses is great, she is gas in my tank, speed in my veins.

So back to the title of this post which has taken its own tangent.  I think Triathlons are my thing.  They are big enough for me to feed my Aggie.  I also have the determination and self-discipline for this sport although unfortunately I do not have the natural talent or athleticism in any of the disciplines.  This sucks a lot as I am competitive.   I am unlikely to do well compared to others but fortunately it really is enough for me to just complete them and race against myself.  Improving times, techniques, challenges and trying to go longer distances.  I love being part of like minded people who also feel this need to push themselves.  Who get it...life outside ones comfort zone.  Next plan is finding a formal group to train with who has a coach.  I know nothing at this point and my nutrition isn't right so I have muscle cramps and the lymph problems and I am probably on the scrawny side.  I am excited to find my thing and it might just be a phase like my surfing but that's also OK because it just means new and exciting and scary challenges in the future.   Sjoe, deep breaths my poor ol excited racey heart.

Hope Junkie in rehab?

Most of you who know me know that I am the eternal optimist.  The romantic sentimental idealist who chooses love, who chooses happily ever after.  I am the hope junkie who rides life without a crash helmet veering from crushing defeat to ecstatic triumph.  From agony to ecstasy.  My anxiety means I am also full of energy, sometimes angst and sometimes good energy.   Medication is not an option for me.  I have tried many with disastrous consequence.   I manage my anxiety Agatha and while I sometimes long for in between and calm dove grey it seems blinding brilliant white and pitch dark black are more the colours of my palette called me.

As I mentioned in my last blog post the past 5 years have been rough.  Much of the real sh*t stuff that happens is too personal to share or involves others but I mentioned enough to reveal that for half a decade life has been a series of huge waves that dump me sucking me under and just when I pop up to gasp for air and get the sand out my bikini bottoms another set rolls in and I have to fight my way through the rough sea.  Each year I start off saying THIS year is going to be better.  Its going to be happy, easier, less eventful, more gentle.  The ocean will be an azure blue and I will happily bob along in tepid temperatures.  For the first time I dare not think it or say it.  The bible says to speak things into existence and I really do believe we need to speak life but somehow I have lost my Mel-Mojo.  Could the hope junkie have disappeared?   I am not cynical but I am also feeling horribly realistic.  Like life doesn't owe me, I don't have a guarantee of a happier easier year.  Stuff happens every day and why should I be exempt.  Its a horrible feeling and Gary misses the up and down me.  The girl who although gets so crushed also gets so frikkin excited and happy.  I miss her too.  I am afraid to climb up, to hope, to look out for fairies and unicorns living in my garden.  I am afraid that another fall from my super happy high place will break me forever so I dare not climb up there.

Do I stay this realist where its safer?  Do I live each day working towards my goals and cherishing all I have.  Do I let go of certain pictures that I was so certain were true?  I can't live in the past and I want to move forward and I am truly excited about my study goals and my exercise goals.  The excitement is that mix of anticipation, anxiety, expectation and hope.  Yes, hope.  I guess I do still hope but I do it a little more cautiously and hold back instead of recklessly throwing myself in.   I loved being brave.  I loved that I was able to hope again after each setback and believing that things would turn around.   Maybe its not losing my balls?  Maybe its just growing up at the grand age of 42 and half?  I don't know.

PS:  Just read my post.  Maybe I am depro?  PMS?  No, just don't know whats up with me??
  

And another year ends

I like to reflect on my year and make goals for the next one.   17 years ago I went through a few very tough years with massive changes, broken hearts, changes of jobs, guys, homes, cities and eventually I settled and that rough and crazy season ended.
I enjoyed the respite of a decade or so and then 5 years ago the sh*t hit the fan again and my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 60 in the December.  We were NOT that family, we were supposed to be invincible.  6 months later after Mom enduring grueling chemo my Dad has a heart attack, triple bypass and a stroke a month after his 60th birthday.  My family and life as I knew it was forever changed. Is forever changed.   Since then life has thrown me with one challenge after another and I no longer start the year with the innocent and expectant hope of a better year, an easier one.  I man up and I know life will kick me in the teeth challenge me and I will continue to go through hard times.    

You know what, its OK.  God never promised an easy life.  His power is made perfect in my weakness and amidst the tough times are the tender times, the fun times and the moments of pure happiness.  Its the mixed bag called life and I just have to live it to the max knowing He will see me through anything.  Do I hope and pray for safety and protection for my family and I, for calm times, for a respite, for healing for my dystonia, for healing for a broken marriage (not mine) and for a season in my life where I don't have to fight so damn hard and be so damn brave.  Absolutely. 

My goals were big this year.  Surviving my brain op did feel like the proverbial 2nd chance even though the mortality figure was not high.  Healing and getting stronger and re appreciating my health and my body made me live my life to the absolute fullest in 2013.  My first run, getting my bike and discovering what fun it is to cycle.  Working hard at my swimming.  Being fitter and more toned at 42 than I have ever been, its a good feeling.  Finishing that triathlon was probably the biggest high of 2013 and then getting my 7 out of 8 distinctions for my UNISA studies.  I worked damn hard this year, every day, at me desk, determined to actually learn and plan for my future career which some scoff at given my age.  Although I will only die in my late eighties if I die tomorrow I have no regrets.  I have given this year horns, I have pushed myself beyond all limits and finishing off with this crazy mountain bike camp was a good metaphor for 2013. 

And next year?  Tomorrow in fact.  Study hard (my text books and work load looks so kak scary!) and do my best.   Do 3 triathlons for the year.   Do a few 10km road races and some trail races for fun.  (Original goal of half marathon scrapped, just don't love running enough!)  Swim a few mile open water swims.  And the mountain biking?  Not sure about that one.  I crapped myself most of the time on this cycle camp.  I don't have the skills and I might just be too old with too much to lose for such an extreme sport.  I am thinking trail cycling...jeep tracks, gentle hills, vineyards and single track minus the boulders and deep grooves.  I will do a skill clinic which I should have actually done before this camp and see. All what I know is I feel extremely blessed to have my precious family, my team and what ever I do in 2014 I will do with all I have within me and then some.

The F-word

In past blogger days when I was a proper blogger I dared to mention the F word sometimes.  Yes, I do mean FAT.  It caused a huge wave and I won't ever forget the infamous blog post about the amount of fat people at Disney and how pissed off some Americans got with me as apparently they were fat because they were poor not because they had to eat those huge drumsticks, extra large fries and bottomless sodas.  The teensy amount of skepticism I have with this is how the fek do they afford to go to Disney then but anyway, moving swiftly on.

People think that only fat people get judged by their size.  That first impressions of them imply that they are lazy and undisciplined or funny or loud or any of the other generalizations people attach.  Slim people, labeled too.  The amount of people who have later become my friends and told me when they first met me they immediately labeled me as skinny model bitch is many.  From being 19 and meeting the other soccer wives and girlfriends to people I meet now.  Slender = vain, bitchy, snobby, mean, uptight, I could go on.  Next week when I meet a group of 20 women for the first time I hope because its a cycle camp and others who love exercise, I wont have to fight that unfair label.   We all judge, it sucks, but we just do.

But my point is I know people of all shapes and sizes and love them for who they are in my life.  Most are happy with their bodies, the plus side of being our age I guess.  If you are happy, your lover is happy, you feel healthy, then we all good.  For those of you who are not happy with your body though you do need to do something about it.  For those whose health is compromised or quality of life, change is needed and the symbolic replacing of a new calender with 2014 on the cover is a good place to start.  (not now obviously, Christmas=chomping!) 

People say I am lucky to be thin.  This is partially true.  Genetically we are a slim family.  If you look at pics of Rebeka my 11 year old and my nephew Adam who is 9 you will probably want to send food parcels or have me and Tertia arrested.  My other nephew Zack is fairly skinny too.  But I am also very deliberate in how and what I eat and exercise.  The way to lose weight is not the million of fad diets out there.  Its the same basic principles that we actually know and are sustainable so you can have a normal life and maintain them.

So here is my 5 cents worth for long term weight loss and good health.
1.  You DO have to exercise.  Sorry but its true and the same mags who tell you that you can have five fabulous shags a week with your husband forever are the ones who tell you no exercise is required and you can still lose weight.  The trick is finding something YOU enjoy and finding someone to do it with you to keep you accountable.  Something that elevates your heartrate and makes you sweat.  Don't sweat huh?  That is what I thought before this year but it turns out I was not pushing my body past a certain point.  If you really can't do sweaty then get in the pool.  You think everyone is looking at you in your costume?   They not and if they are its for 5 seconds so get over yourself and get in.  Start with a few lengths and build up.  I could do 10 max.  Now I do 64 continuously which is a mile or 1.6km.  No swim?  Start off with walking and increase your speed and distance.  Zumba?  Crossfit? Cycling?  Spinning? Netball?  We are blessed to be in an age where the choices are vast.  Yoga and pilates great for toning but you won't lose weight, you have to get your heart rate moving.
2. Don't eat sh*t when you hungry.  I eat crap too.  I am in no way a food nazi, especially when I am PMS.  What I never do though is eat rubbish when I am hungry.  I eat proper food first and THEN I eat the chocolate or chips or biscuits or whatever.  It means my blood sugar doesn't spike plus I eat less of the junk.
3. Eat smaller portions, especially of the fattening stuff.  And you don't have to cut out carbs but obviously going for low GI bread vs white bread is a better option.  Remember you are now exercising so you will burn it off!   Eat a balanced diet, fruit, veg, protein, carbs and even some fat too.  Empty kilojoules are for occasional days, not daily.
4.  Make wise food choices.   Life doesn't have to be a jam doughnut or a celery stick with cottage cheese.  In between lie an array of foods available.  Thick butter on your bread, creamy sauces on your steak, fries instead of new potatoes, fizzy drinks.  Start with those simple ones to cut out instead of radically cutting out everything.  Baby steps.
5.  Drinking.  You have to drink water, you just do so stop saying you hate water and pretending the 4 cups of coffee and glasses of juice are enough.  Never go anywhere without your water bottle.  Driving somewhere means you will have drunk 500ml without even thinking about it.  Yes you will wee alot but it will be pale and non stinky wee.  Hydrate.  And booze...totally empty kilojoules.  Have a glass of wine but not 4. Cocktails and spirits and beers, moderation and not every day.  You will never be slim and its just not good for you.  Fizzy drinks are an obvious evil.  Mix clear juice like apple or berry with half soda water, yum.
6.  Your kids  Do not obsessively talk about diets, weight, food, fat in front of your kids.  Lead by example and teach them to respect and love their bodies.  If your child is overweight, do something about it.  Now.  It if means you all have to eat a certain way then do it.   Get them off the i-pad and get them moving.  Fat kids are often teased and ridiculed and its just not fair.  You can subtly address the problem without making them hyper aware.
7.  Love your body.  Our bodies are miraculous, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  You have to live in it all your days and you want many days so be kind to it and keep it healthy.  Many have no choice over their health and would do anything to preserve their life so be deliberate in looking after your body.
8.  Set realistic goals   How much do you want to lose?  What is YOUR ideal weight?  Can you sustain it and lead a normal life?   Remember its not just about how you look but your health too.
9.  Eat the piece of cake  If you at a party or babyshower or whatever you CAN eat a slice of cake.  If you don't you will go home and eat something in secret anyway so eat the cake.  Food is a huge part of our social world and you are part of that world.  I know moderation is such an over used word but if you can find that balance for everything in your life it will mean a happier you.
10.  Psyche yourself out   Why do you over eat?   Dig a little deeper or find someone who is a professional to help you.  We have so many psychological associations with food and our bodies and if I look at how we immediately give our child a food treat if they bored/hurt themselves/behave etc I see how we create and exacerbate the problem from early on.  Decide what you want and if you want it badly enough and you are half way there already.
11.  Accept my apology   I know this is a sensitive issue and I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings so if I have in this post then please forgive me.  I just want people to live their best lives and be healthy and like themselves and if you are overweight and this is you, then ignore points 1 to 10.  If however you are overweight and unhappy and desperate to change then 1-10 is for you.  If you want to, you can.  Easy, no.  Possible, absolutely.  Good luck!

Can't view blog?

Won't let me view blog?  I want to do so that I can send my post to FB.  Just says new tab on top with no new page.  Am I being stupid?  Surely not.  Help people in the computer!

To any newbie who would love to attempt a Triathlon!

If someone has 1 kid via C-section, employs a night nurse and later an au pair is she called a mother?  Well of course!  Another women has 6 kids all born naturally with no pain relief, breastfeeds them until they 2 and she home schools all of them taking short breaks to eat organically grown food from her garden.  Also a mother right?   Relevance you ask?  I was just wandering if after 1 single sprint triathlon I was allowed to call myself a triathlete and dare to offer any tips or advice to wannabees out there?

There is amazing info out there but much of it goes way over my head.  I feel a little like a young virgin reading 50 Shades of Grey.   I would like to share a few things I wish some zealous newbie told me before I attempted my 1^st Tri.   Firstly my dear newbie, not everyone is the Ironman type training 5 hours a day eating very specific food and speaking a lingo known only to other crazy iron people.    The same way you have people doing the local 5km and others doing the Two Oceans, you have triathletes doing Sprint Tri’s for fun and others tackling mammoth races like iron man or even half iron man.  Naturally I would be the sprint fun type.  At my age with my lifestyle and commitments I have neither the desire nor capacity to race insane distances.  (No respect to you crazy nutters who do!)

So what do you need to do a triathlon?   Quite simply, the lus.  Do you want to do one?  Do you want to take yourself off the couch out of your comfort zone and do something that terrifies and excites you all at the same time?  Well then we good.  You don’t need a running background, cycling or even swimming.   Many assume triathletes were excellent in one of these areas and decided to add on another 2 disciplines.  I could not run 100 meters and the last time I had been on a bike was over 30 years ago.  I could swim but not brilliantly well.   What I did have, was the head.  I had the goal and the discipline and the enthusiasm to do it. 

Okay, so you want to do it then.  Here’s my advice to get you going:
If you cannot find a training group or the hours don’t work with kids schedules, work etc, find a like minded training partner.  Someone on a similar level to you who also wants to do her 1^st Tri.  You will be accountable to each other, encourage each other and get to celebrate together when you eventually finish.  You might have a partner who finishes 22 minutes ahead of you despite the fact that you trained harder but you will get over it. Grrrr!
Secondly, read Triathlon mags, runing mags, cycling mags, read books, talk to other athletes, do some research.  As I said much of it is way too technical or OTT but you do learn some useful stuff.
Train in all weather.  I so wished I did that very obvious tip.  When it was cold and windy and shite we hit the gym.  Naturally on race day the wind howled, the water was cold and choppy and cycling into the wind was killer.
If you can’t run you start off walking and follow one of those 5km run programmes.   You will eventually get there and you might even love it.  Me, hate running.  Runners high?  No clue!    Don’t just do flat routes and try run at least twice a week making sure it’s not just on the treadmill.  Don’t wear old cheapo shoes as you will mess up your feet.
Cycling.   I did it all wrong but what I should have done was get over my fear of kleats and cycling shoes and I should have used a road bike and not my heavy plonky mountain bike.  I would like to tell you how to get over your fear of kleats but I don’t know myself?!  As mentioned I should have done more real road cycling and less spin classes avoiding Cape Town winter weather.  What I did do and what helped was to go straight from a spin class to the dreaded treadmill and run 5kms.  It gets your legs used to that transition.   Also, don’t laugh at the people as they queue to rack their bikes and they wear their helmets.  Fools you think, don’t they realize the swim comes first?   Reason for helmets…they are checked for cracks before you rack your bike so you don’t fall off and die and your spouse sues them.  I do find it very ironic no one gives a crap at mountain bike events as to the state of your very necessary helmet??  Have a bottle of water to rinse your feet so the sand doesn’t rub and chaffe you.  The hardcore guys aka mothers of 6 don’t wear socks but remember we want to finish this thing and enjoy it so comfort is key.
Speaking of comfort, those cute little trisuits are surprisingly comfy.  You will feel alarmed at the minimal padding on the bum area but remember you swim, cycle and run in them and my butt felt just fine afterwards.  I would go for a brand one, check out the sales and you should get one for around R700.  You can go for 2 separate pieces (good when you need to wee) or one piece.
The swim.  Many dread the swim but luckily I love the water.  In the Tri sprints the distances are only 800 meters which is 32 lengths in a 25 meter pool.  I would strongly advise you to enter an open water swim event before you do a Tri.  Everyone tells you about the murky water and the people on top of you and the large splashy washing machine effect but until you in it, you cannot imagine what it’s like.  It’s bloody scary the first time and all that training in the pool seems to count for nought when you in the dam desperately trying not to panic.  I wanted to cry during my 1^st swim.   I thought 1500 meters sounded easy peasy but it was very, very far and very, very horrible.  Fortunately I did a few more open water swims with shorter distances after that and got over my issues.   I also learned about having a mantra that you say over and over again as you swim.  It can even be counting but just something to keep you calm and focused.    That rule about not trying anything new on race day, well it includes tightening your goggles just before you swim.  Your eyes will want to pop out and you will have a headache and you won’t even be able to have a good cry because afore mentioned goggles will fill with water.
If your local pool/gym has a masters swim squad I would recommend you join.  Those guys are damn good and you will feel like a bit of a paw-paw but at least you will get swim fit and be pushed beyond what you would push yourself.  A great tip I learned (after my Tri!) was to swim around the black T instead of touching the wall and kicking off at each length.  Do 16 lengths of that and you will be surprised how tiring it is and much more realistic than using the wall.
Transition.  The serious dudes make a big deal of this and I will advise you to practice it but remember your goal is to finish and if you take 2 minutes or 30 seconds, so be it.  I watched a  You tube clip of what to pack and it was helpful.   I also practiced swimming at a pool in my wetsuit and then taking it off and pretending to run with my bike.  The first time I couldn’t get my zip down.  The 2^nd time I caught my entire ponytail in the zip which my amused husband had to ease/pull out.  Naturally he filmed it and it seemed to stay equally funny at each viewing.  Third time perfect and on race day perfect.   What I should have done though when I got to my bike was sit down and pull the rest of my suit off.  I was a little dizzy after my swim so fell around like a drunk trying to get the rest of my suit off.
Eating.  Don’t presume because it’s a big sporting event healthy or nutritious food will be on sale.   Luckily I had a sad old low GI peanutbutter sarmie in my bag but next time I will have a packed cooler box and eat properly.  Our race was at 3pm and we were there the whole day.  By the time I did my run my tank was empty and I walked half of it. 
Have fun.  You might think it’s just not possible due to nerves and how hard it will be but somehow I really did have fun.  I am naturally competitive but this was one competition where it really was about ME and finishing it.  I had a time goal which I did achieve but I was surprised how much I enjoyed my race.  In fact my mantra was This is MY race and its one I plan to repeat at every event I do going forward.   I do want to get better and I will but it’s all about me and doing the best I can.  Corny I know but it takes the pressure off.
Wannabee Triathlete there is so much more info out there than a pleb like me knows but I will tell you one thing.   Finishing that race rated right up there with the birth of my 3 kids, with relocating and starting a new career and with so many other brave things I have done in my life.  Feeling part of this fun fit energized crowd was just awesome.  I can’t wait to do another one and I can’t wait for the feeling I know you will have once you finish YOUR first one.  Next race, it’s YOUR race!