Sometime last year my mom and I had a conversation about
this random special little moment she had.
It’s been a long journey for her, for us, nursing my father through his cancer
and then working through the inevitable grief and PTSD you experience after the
trauma. When you meet someone at age 14
your lives and love and self become so intertwined you need to re invent yourself,
and that is what she has done and is still doing.
So Mimi had this moment.
It was 4:00 in the afternoon and she had a glass of wine and a platter
of sushi and was watching something on Netflix.
She paused and took a little step back and so appreciated the simple joy
of that moment. The next day I had run
a half marathon in town and went to Clifton beach afterwards. I was totally alone and the sun came out and I
had my book and delicious snacks and I felt pure simple bliss. I messaged her to tell her I was having a
sushi moment and the term stuck.
She decided just before Christmas she would write down a
sushi moment everyday and put it in a tin and read her moments at the end of
the year. I started the same thing on
January 1st and I hope I can keep it up for the whole year. Some days are rough days and it’s harder to
find a sushi moment. But it can be the simplest
thing. A perfect juicy peach while you are
sitting in the sun is enough. And then I
have big sushi moments like my day at the river that Saturday. It was a helluva trek down there. Especially when you have a bag in your hand
and your balance is off. I knew I would
probably struggle to do this in 10 years time and I appreciated my health. We got down to the water and it was
ridiculously beautiful. Rivers and
mountains, my thing! I looked at these 3 people and had such a wow
feeling. I made these people. I made my own best friends. They are all unique with their own value and
belief systems but Gary and I had a big part to play in the formation of their
character. My children, so much older
now at 15, 17 and 23. Smart free
thinking open minded gorgeous young people.
My kids? It was like I was back
in the past but I looked at them from the outside and it was so cool that this
is what life gave me. Really? Mel you grew up and you had 3 children and
by trial and error you raised them and here you all are enjoying each other’s
company. They made me jump off this kak
high rock and I was SO not keen but they were having none of it. Mom had to jump!
You know how gender fluid is a thing? Well age fluid is too. Some days I feel my age and others 20 years
forward or 20 back. I am very aware that my body will eventually
give up on me and it already has it’s aches and pains. My damn eyesight is not great and my 1.5
reading glasses a staple in my life and mofo huge text on my phone. Life is damn hard being grown up. The past 6 months have kicked me in the balls
a few times but I am not going to sink into negativity and declare this the
worst time ever or those usual labels.
It’s life and it’s challenging at present but every day has a sushi moment
and I will keep writing them down.
Pausing when they happen and being grateful for them. They are enough to keep me going. They are enough.
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