My sister wrote this really cool e-mail to her son's school about a teacher who was beyond awesome in the way she handled the kids and did her job with such passion and excellence. What struck me in the mail was that she said something like: words can never express how grateful I am etc. I imagined the head calling in the teacher and showing her that mail and I just know the affirmation that she would feel and would keep forever. I then later read something on a private FB page about what words were once said that hurt deeply and remained painful years and years after they were carelessly uttered. Everyone that commented had messages said to them they could not forget and defined them and damaged them.
We have all received tangible gifts over our lives. Some were boring, some were special and most have been used or lost or long forgotten. Words however, both good and bad, those we so often keep. They have the power to make us or break us. The responsibility that this evokes for all of us is huge. Sometimes we feel shy or awkward to express how we feel, to say something personal or make ourselves vulnerable. We keep it casual, a love u instead of an I love you is far safer. With more and more communication being on-line and long conversations on whatsapp and FB instead of a call, we get a little braver. It can be good and it can be really ugly too. Social media bullying is rife and it seems adults are just as bad typing all sorts of nasty. We have good sites too of course, safe places where people can post what is on their heart knowing the community of strangers shares and supports with no judgement. Places where encouragement and affirmation is given because in the real world the person is unable to get that unconditional support.
Sometimes when we hurt we lash out but what is said stays there. A sorry cannot erase those words and for deep wounds, even time cannot alter them. I want to be more aware of what I say both good and bad. I want to take the time and effort to tell people in my life that I appreciate them. I think I am OK with people in the middle, its the ones closest to me I need to tell and not assume they know my heart. And its the everyday people that I want to commend when they are excellent, the waiter at lunch or cashier at the grocery store or a business that gives great service. 2015, I will take the time to write letters complimenting staff and tell people. Sincere words of praise and appreciation make anyone feel valued. Before I call you all and love you up I am off to shower because I went for a cycle. I was doing my usual ugly to myself routine going down the very steep hills holding on the breaks. Me to me: You such a scardy cat and waste so much time going down the hills. (I stay a little nervous since my accidents) You not even brave! Me to me: Actually, the fact that I am cycling at all makes me brave and if I need to break a little going down the hills so be it. Being brave is being afraid and doing it anyway. Right! I am going to be kinder to myself too although I will probably still give myself a hard time but then I have my come back. My nice self that will drown out that nasty critical bitch who I will force into submission. I love you, I love me. x