Saturday, June 21, 2014

To my Rebeka on her 12th birthday

First let me start by saying HAPPY birthday to you.  I have said happy birthday many times but this time I mean it, I wish you the happiest day ever.  You won’t remember but I used to write you happy birthday and just general letters on my old blog.  Mom will read it to you sometime.  This time is cooler though because you get to read and really understand. 

Twelve!  You were right Becks, 12 is indeed a big birthday, technically the last year of being a tweenie before you hit the teens.  I know this is all about YOU but can I just say I know I must be pretty awesome because God needed someone very special to raise someone like you.   I love that I know just how to love you.  What makes you tick and what makes you happy.  You are different Rebeka and you always will be.  Sometimes this will be a huge blessing and sometimes it will be a source of pain.  You see and feel things on a much deeper level than most people.  I have this too and when we live in a world that seems so incredibly unfair it can cause much heartache.  The good thing is that you will never be that person who turns a blind eye or decides not to care.  You do care and have the gift of fairness, compassion and kindness and God will use you in your life to love and care and heal.  I am not sure in which profession but I do know it will be in a space and place where you get to show your love and care for people or animals.

I am so immensely proud of you.  Not for your grades or swimming or anything you have done or not done.  I am just proud of WHO you are and to be your mother, the person who gets to guide you and help shape you as you grow up.   I don’t know everything, no one does.  People will try and force their own ideas and opinions on you but you need to find your own truth and belief system which has already started to grow.  People call it their inner voice or the little voice in their head or their conscience, that what niggles and tells us stuff.  We call it the holy spirit, the voice of God that tells us what to do, when to love, who to love.  You have this already, have had it for a long time.  Sometimes we don’t want to listen; we so want to do what WE want to do.  That’s OK too because it is how we learn, we bump our heads and next time we learn to duck or take another route.  We also learn to listen next time.  (Mom has only learned to listen to this voice so much later than you!) 

I am glad you had a great evening at youth last night and Auntie Michelle and your friends made you feel special.  Super glad you love your prezzies and your breakfast with Dad this morning.  I know it felt like forever waiting for your phone but this amazing and excited feeling you have right now, it’s what comes from waiting for something you really look forward to.  Delicious anticipation and then the moment of having it in your hands!  Hey, sounds like my pregnancy with you.  Waiting, waiting and then my arms and heart full of you.

So let me end by saying happy birthday Rebeka Scarlett Novitzkas.  I wish you another 80 special birthdays on this earth, even more.  I love you more than I could possibly describe but I know you know.  Stoked for the wonderful plans and future I know God has laid out for you.

Love from Mom x

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