Friday, October 9, 2015

Confident: tick. Kind: tick.

Being a very sentimental person, I take note of special occasions and keep all sorts of little reminders of times in my life that have been happy or challenging or simply noteworthy.  In the past few years I have collected a pebble or little rock from happy places and I write the date and place in pencil on each one.

When I was pregnant with all 3 of my kids I wrote a diary with letters to them and just a general how I felt diary.  I even started writing letters when I was going to adopt so she could know she was wanted and prayed for and dreamed about before she arrived.   On the 28th of November 1995 I wrote down my promises to my unborn baby of how I wanted to mother him/her:
I will try and be patient and always LISTEN to what you have to say (didn't quite do so well on this one) 
I will tell you how much I love you and when I feel proud of you.  I want you to KNOW you are loved (Got this one right!) I hope to enable you to have access to any information or things you need that interest you or you want to learn about. (Tick)I will never force you to do anything you really don't want to do but I will encourage you to try all sorts of sports, interests, hobbies etc. (Got this one too)
I really just want to do my best to make you a good, honest, fair person who always does their best and is good to other people and animals. (Tick, Tick)

I also mentioned elsewhere in my diary I hoped for confident and kind and in the last few weeks I have sat back and witnessed the awesome people my children have become and I have taken a brief little high five grateful happy moment.
Daniel.  His 1st year at varsity.  ADHD and all over the place with his reading level very poor to start off.  The 1st semester was a little crazy but I have him some grace and allowed him to find his feet.  After a close call he caught a huge wake-up and literally and figuratively paid for his mistakes and is so committed and back on track.  He owns his own life and his studies and took reading courses to get him up to speed.  He is passionate about his university and his degree.  He is a sponge soaking up all this knowledge and excited about his future career.  He has been approved as a mentor for next year for the 1st years' for 2016. 
Rebeka.  She who used to be so incredibly shy gets a cum laude for her poetry.  She then gets the same for her keyboard eisteddfod and later in the year gets a Gold for her performance in the school drama.  The big Revue which they stage every 3 years casts for the lead role and my once super shy Becks gets the part.  She cannot sing and doesn't speak Afrikaans very well but the drama teacher insists she is the perfect Molly and adjusts the script for her.  Sofie gets lucky with her sister as the lead role and gets to play the young Molly.  The opening scene is Rebeka sitting watching her younger self, her sister, stand on the stage and sing like an angel.  How did shy Gary and I raise these confident young ladies?   They speak so well and command that stage.  Wow.
Sofie.  Sofia.  Fifi. Sofielicious. This little girl struggled so with anxiety and was excessively fearful.  She had terrible stomach aches and we spent thousands investigating possible causes.  Grade 1 was really tough for her.  She has ADD, Rebeka is my only one who has escaped the Loebenberg ADHD gene.  She too doesn't read but she is funny and bright.  She has managed to control and manage her anxiety and fears and has grown so in her confidence and social skills.  She sings and dances and is our diva.  What really inspired this post though, was how the 2 of them responded to 2 different situations when we were in Clanwilliam over the weekend.
The house next door had 2 security guard working shifts.  On race day we had been up forever and the sun was killer that day.  That night we went out for pizza and waited 2 starving hours for our food.  When I got home I just wanted to go to bed but Rebeka insisted we make him coffee and she took her leftover pizza over to him.  The next guy had to get coffee too.  She is my extra kind one and hugely compassionate.
Then across the road were 2 dogs that got no attention.  They were fed but not loved much.  Sofie doesn't do people but animals...they catch her heart.  She would sit at the fence and love them by sticking her hand in as far as she could to touch them and talk to them.  On the day we left she insisted on using some of her prize money to buy them a toy they would most likely not play with.
Confident and kind children.  Children who have been taught to question and seek truth and fight for those who need a voice.  Not perfect children, sometimes selfish, rude, bratty but good people.  People who will add to this world and who will practice love and tolerance and respect for others.  I am so grateful to partner with Gary and God and mother these individuals.