Thursday, September 6, 2012

50 Shades of Brown

I am one of the many women out there who is hooked on 50 Shades.  I have read number 1 and 2 and I am saving number 3 for next week.   I know many crit the book going on about language and grammar and the fact that it is by no means cleverly or beautifully written.   The author never claimed this was such a trilogy and she is most definitely laughing all the way to the very prosperous bank.

Before I continue I feel I just need to tell the blood related men in my life to stop reading right now.  Dad, Paulie, Daniel, you might want to stop reading at this point as I am about to talk about es-ee-ex and we all know how nauseating the thought of any family member doing the deed is.  

Right, do you think they have gone?   Go already!!  OK, gone.  So as I was saying, I have loved the books for several reasons.   One of the main ones is the sexual liberation and exploration of so many regular normal everyday gals out there.   Women who are talking to each other, to their partners.  Thinking about what they like, what they don't, what they would like to try or introduce.   Vanilla with a few twists if you like or maybe even chocolate or butterscotch!   I know many marriages are being sexually revived and more than a few husbands delighted by their sexually charged and aware wives.  While I know their is an excellent chance it won't last, the refreshing will and hopefully a new chapter?   I am trusting...

Last Friday my 2 good girlfriends and I went to an adult 'tupperware' party.   Its hosted by a company that comes around to your home and bring all the goods with to purchase.   It is for the many of us who would be far too intimidated to go to Adult World or search on-line but would love to add some fun to our marriages.  We were 16 ladies, 14 Afrikaans girls and 2 English and all inspired by the book.   The evening obviously started with a few drinks and once everyone was happy and giggly, the goods came out.   It was pretty funny and definitely fuel for a good laugh.  It did not feel sordid or dark or unsavoury and what surprised me most, was how open everyone was with what they purchased.   The alcohol obviously helped!  Another cool thing is many of us were Christians which dispels the whole puritan churchy vibe.

I am also enjoying feeling like Gary and I have just met although keeping this going when we have 50 shades of brown, is pretty hard.   I am not 21 and super gorgeous and he is not 27 and filthy rich and super gorgeous.   In between feeling and thinking sexy and I have the normal 50 shades of brown.   We get sick, we have to have a poo, the kids get sick, they have to have a poo which is not always flushed. We have debts, and dogs, and orthodontists bills.  We have a swimming pool pump that breaks and a pool that goes green.   We don't have a cook or someone to pick up clothes left on the floor.   Mornings are spent rushing around and yelling at everyone to hurry up.  Making school lunches and washing clean linen because someone spilt a whole bowl of rice crispies and milk on my duvet.  Finding clean school clothes and signing permission slips.   The only spanking that has ever occurred was on the naughty little bums of our kids when they were small.   Bedtime is us gleefully jumping into a warm bed and reading our books each on our own side.   50 Shades of normal life I guess.  And one more thing!  How does anyone shag that often?  Her poor vay-jay-jay!

Next Friday my friend turns 40 and we are going to a club in Sea Point.  A real life night club although apparently for us old fogies.  Gary and I are staying in a very gorgeous guest house with no critters and no shades of brown so we don't need to drive back.  While I can never be a 3 or 4 times a day EVERYDAY Ana, we can snatch little bits of time away just us and its all the more appreciated because it isn't an every day occurrence.  I reckon I will start book 3 the day before.   Laters Baby!  


  1. Funnily enough, was chatting to one of the assistants at Wordsworth who claims that more men than women are coming in to buy this trilogy... just saying.... ;)