The partnership of God & Science

I do not believe in the exclusivity of either God or Science.    I have seen far too much evidence of how the blend is what makes the world go round, in fact what makes it round.  Just lately being present at the birth of a baby born to a surrogate and conceived via IVF on the 4th try.   We knew without doubt that God the creator was part of that process and we knew without doubt that modern medicine had assisted in that miracle.

I have prayed for healing for years now without success.  Its very disheartening because apart from living in chronic pain, you wander why He has decided not to heal you and you feel somewhat frustrated, sad, neglected etc that He who heals, is not healing YOU.   That being said I know He puts doctors and people in your path who are part of the healing process when He hasn't gone for the instant quick fix.   My history with medicine sucks and my reactions so OTT.    My condition I now have is so rare from the Cymbalta/Cymgen that my psychiatrist didn't believe me and reported it to the drug company incorrectly.   I feel like writing her a letter:  Dear doc, you were wrong, I was unfortunately right.  19 days on Cymgen can give you irreversible Tardive Dyskenesia.   Please bother researching this topic further and consulting my neuro who will confirm this diagnosis.   But whats the point, now that I have accepted this and stopped waiting for it to spontaneously disappear its time to try new things.   I still beg pray daily and my kids do too but on it goes, relentless.   The latest meds didn't work and now its time for the big guns, Tetmodis schedule 21.   You have to apply to a board to get it approved because South Africa doesn't stock or dispense it.  You then have to import it from Switzerland.  Mine has been approved and now I wait.   We are 3 in a year who my doc has treated for this condition.   One is a psychologist who has kindly shared her knowledge and experience with me.   She also used to go to be early sometimes because the pain was so bad, she was suicidal and effort of speaking and constant pain exhausting.    I get you sister!    The terrifying thing is the tetmodis side effects was awful for the first week, unbearable where she actually went off.  The good thing was doc said give it a break for 10 days and then lets retry.  She did and it has changed her life.  She has days where she forgets about it, no more depression or pain.  

So now its my turn and with my pharmaceutical history, I am rather afraid.    The irony of taking such hectic drugs to fix something that other drugs caused.   Yet I have no choice because I can't live like this and being hope junkie, I have to take this chance and hope and pray it works for me too.   I am going to phone her again so I can have a clearer idea of what to expect.  And pray, yes I won't give up.   God please let this be the answer, my body able to tolerate this drug and give me relief and my life back.   I pray that after 6 months the condition will be gone but if not, that I can tolerate these meds long term.   And while I am asking, please help me with the Rivotril withdrawals.  You made my body, fearfully and wonderfully and you know how seriously I take my health.  Partner with me and science and lets fix me for good.  Thank you and Amen and Hallelujah and I love you.  Please!