Monday, August 27, 2012

A prejudice uncovered

I hate prejudice.  I find it ignorant and arrogant and actually quite rude.   The assumption that you are normal, right and how things should be and anyone else who is different is somehow less worthy, normal or valid.   I do obviously find myself thinking or acting in a prejudice manner every so often and try and nip it in the bud.

Working with surrogacy really forced me to confront my feelings re homosexuality.   Its easy saying you think or believe X, Y, Z but when it comes to actually putting those principles in practice, its a little different.   I also have the added complexity of being a Christian and having many Christian friends with ideas very conflicting to mine.  Anyway, turns out I really do believe gay people can and should be allowed to marry their partners, have biological or adopted children and be awarded the same rights and respect of hetero families.  Children are very accepting of differences and love their parents for being their parents.   Their family is their family and for them, the place where they are loved, nurtured and cherished.  I love that our Constitution is tolerant and respectful of diversity and the value and freedom of the individual is so important.   As far as race goes, its never been an issue although I do regret being raised in our apartheid system with no real opportunity to grow up with, make friends with or really connect with other racial groups in SA.  Our kids are lucky to have many different friends of many different cultures.

So where do I fall short?  What group of people do I carelessly lump together and paint with the same brush.  Presume they are all blended into one flavour and one I do not particularly enjoy.  Its the oldies I'm afraid.   I don't want to be old and unattractive and slow and impatient and grouchy.   I don't want to be invisible or feel useless or no longer valued by society.   I don't want to bide my time till I die.   Rude I know and I am sorry I have been so blind to this whole massive group of people who I will inevitably join one day.  If I am lucky!

So the eye opener has been my pottery.   When I walked into the class I was extremely disappointed to see 4 old ducks, very old ducks!   Two ladies are in the seventies, one is 82 and the other got married in 1949 so must be SUPER old.   Three are widows and have been for decades and the one has a husband called Bokkie.   I almost changed so I could find a younger group and make some friends.  As time has gone by and we sit and paint and shape and potter I have got to know them a little more and I see behind the grey hair and wrinkles, are dynamic and funny and interesting people.  Ones with humour and family dramas and recipes and travel stories and gossip.  In fact not very different from my own set of girlfriends in our thirties and forties.   I feel both relieved and a little sheepish.   So one day we will still laugh and have fun and talk shit and learn new things.  Why did I even presume this wasn't possible?  It makes me all the more determined to make sure I have my health and I have enough money invested so I can do things like join a pottery class etc.

We largely choose who we want to be and how we will react to things in our life.  I hope I will always be open to new experiences and to travel and to meeting people and to being involved.  I hope I won't be bitter or grouchy or impatient.   I feel incredibly fortunate to have the friends I do and I can just imagine us one day parking off doing something like that.   

PS:  Although this isn't like my old blog where comments are mostly posted, pls don't let us get into the whole gay debate and respectfully agree to disagree. 

1 comment:

  1. I promise, hand on heart, to be as ditzy, daft, sun-loving as I am, and hopefully interesting and fun too. And I don't have too long to wait either.... xxx