Sunday, December 16, 2012

13 Nov to 13 Dec

So here I am in this pic exactly one month since my brain op doing my famous corny jumpy Mel shot at the reservoir in Hermanus.  1 month prior at that exact time I had my craniotomy and the cyst removed.  I am grateful for my recovery and the only issue I still struggle with is my neck is still tender from the wound.   The ability of the human body to heal is pretty awesome.  It’s that very fact that makes my oral dystonia so frustrating.    The op had zero effect on my tongue spasms and I remain on the epilepsy meds. 

Next year I get serious about finding an expert and exploring various options.     To have an irreversible condition from medication I have taken for only 19 days is just so frustrating.    OK, OK, I shouldn’t say irreversible but 6 months on of suffering with no letting up is making me think perhaps this is the hand I have been dealt with.    When I first googled it I read weeks, months, years and often irreversible.     I waited out weeks and I wait out months and if I just knew it was years, even 2 or 3 and then it would end, I could cope.  Forever?  That’s a really, REALLY long time!    I have read about alternate therapies but I cannot imagine botox would work for the tongue because how would I speak?    My forehead would love some botox but my tongue, probably not.   I know exercise works and I am finally back to my previous strength pre op with no more day naps needed.  And then….cannabis,  Dagga, weed, marijuana is supposedly am option for dystonia and tardive dyskinesia.    I stopped smoking many years ago because I felt like God was telling me it wasn’t good for me and as an occupant of my temple, He preferred not getting stoned thank you very much.    I obeyed immediately and never smoked since.    I want to do jumpy Mel shots at 80 and I do feel like I have partnered with God when it comes to my health.    My side means listening to my body and also my spirit.    Another thing I felt was a God no-no is no pig.   I am not fanatical about it and I just pick the bacon out the macaroni I feed my swine eating family but for MY body, pork is a no-no.   

I have obviously prayed passionately for healing of my tongue, for the pain and spasms to just STOP.   In fact I have just come back from a mini break in Hermanus and on the 9th of December I sat on the beach with my tongue sticking out in the wind (looking VERY special) and trusted 100% for healing and was so determined to have that date as the date it all stopped.   Nope, He didn’t.  He didn’t heal my mouth, He chose not to.   It’s tough when I know  He can but I guess this journey I need to be on isn’t over and I have to trust Him in all things.    Jesus you know I am willing to try anything so if weed will help then I hope I have your blessing.  If not, then hey, fix me so we don’t have to get stoned.  Please!  

PS:   The numbness I had in my chin and the tip of my nose has gone which is cool.  The sore ears and headache above my brows too.   The slurry speech after half a glass of wine also cured.  I can now drink 2 WHOLE glasses of wine without getting pissed, marvelous hey!  

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