I am currently sitting in room H16 at Vergelegen Medi Clinic Private hospital. I had expected to be home by today but I am not strong enough. Why? Because I had BRAIN SURGERY. What the?! Why I couldn’t admit that before I went in I just don’t know. Maybe it was to protect myself or a little bit of denial or not wanting to be all melodramatic attention seeking. Ja, ja, me = arsehole sometimes.
I am really sore and weak and fragile and the recovery will be longer than I imagined. I had pictured a small little hole, tiny patch of shaved area and then microscopically going in, perforating the membrane and draining the cyst into my head. Instead I have a deep long cut in my neck, have had a section of my cranium removed, the arachnoid membrane perforated and everything manipulated to get all the fluid out and then my cranium re-stapled back so they could sew my neck up. He said the cyst was as deep as it could be and I feel like I do because he has taken a big wooden spoon and stirred around my head a little. Unfortunately tongue still spazzy but I am not given up yet as the swelling and trauma is extensive. Yesterday I was tearful as I thought I have gone through all this for nothing and my mouth isn’t fixed but the position of the cyst was bound to cause more serious symptoms later. I will continue to hope and pray it will all be gone and after a few weeks, I will be back on my feet. Thank goodness for my support group who have all been so divine. My mom is staying and my dad said I can keep her as long as I need her. (He misses her when she is away) My awesome girlfriends have made my family supper and visited and brought me yum stuff and mags and loved me and prayed for me. I feel so divine to be so cared for. The no exercise thing is going to be tough for me but I will have to take it very slow and build up my strength again.
In fact to prove my commitment to taking it easy I am going to finish this post tomorrow as my neck is getting sore. I can hear squelching in my head, its vile! Chat morrow, hopefully from my own bed. X
OK so not in my own bed but pretty sure I will be by tonight. I definitely feel stronger and I am lasting longer between painkillers. The cut on my neck makes it hard to look down and type. I am pleased the only obligation I have next week it to help Rebeka study for her exams. I have supper until Tuesday night and I still feel this weak then my BF Woolworths Foods will no doubt keep us going another week. I brought so many books to read but it made me too nauseous in the first few days. When I am at home I will read and do plenty journaling about this extremely ironic so called year of abundance. I do see God’s hand everywhere, His sweetness and love for His people. I see the work he hand sews into everyone’s life knowing just what they need when they do. I look back in hindsight and I am grateful for the evidence of His unique parenting He is doing with all the individual people I care about, myself included of course. Damn, this is making me too nauseous and sore. I guess blogging will be in drips and drabs. Puking on keyboard = bad. Gotta go! Later. x
And now I am at home. I hate being this vulnerable but I guess I cannot rush my recovery. My head was so sore last night I got scared. Took drugs and took more at 3.30am. We got a new puppy yesterday and she cried most of the night. That’s a whole other story though and typing time limited to tomorrow. Thanks again for all the love and support. Worst part of all…my spazzy and sore mouth that has STILL not ceased. I can only hope it’s somehow connected to the swelling so me the hope junkie doesn’t give up just yet.