Take your mark, get set.....

And I am ready to go.  I just want this over now.   I have been so yo-yo since booking this op.  Relaxed and calm one minute and Agatha fueled the next.   The silver lining has been pretty bright though.  I have felt very loved and appreciated by my friends and fam.  I feel so blessed to have so many cool people in my life who care about me and who I care about.   Love makes the world go round, it really does.

The other semi bonus is when I become Morbid Maude, I start to imagine the what ifs and the shitty sad stuff makes me savour every second of this past week.   In the past I have either been working, mothering babies or studying so having this past week and a bit off has been awesome.    I am not a big shopper or gym bunny or coffee shop girl.  I am very much an outdoor girl though so have had a week of my fave triple combo:   good friends, natural outdoorsy beauty and endorphin inducing exercise.   Monday was an 8km beach walk with my friends Claire & Bee and my dog aka The Goose.   Then Claire took Goose home and I had a surf with my ol' surf chick friends who I haven't seen in far too long.  Very little waves are taken but much time is spent sitting on our boards talking sh*t and smiling at each other because we are all so damn happy to be out in the ocean.  Tuesday was a 10km walk with Bee in Lourensford which is just so gorgeous.   Wednesday was another 8km walk with Claire followed by 2 hours of tennis with Colleen and Michelle.  Thursday we did a 5.30am walk and then I was off to my pilates before our bunk day.  The bunk day was spent with my 2 Bfs going to Boulders to see the penguins and have lunch and swim in the sea.   We saw 1 sad penguin, got ambushed by a class of 10 year olds on their school field trip and then battled the tourists to find space in a restaurant for lunch.   It took hours to get there due to the winds and a road being closed but somehow with all the oddities the day was divine and we plan to do it more often.

Friday was a rest day and emergency fix my pedi day.   One's toes need to look beautiful when undergoing any kind of surgery!  Saturday was just Goose and I and we did 10km down at the beach.   Strand beach is filled with weird and wonderful people and I loved watching everyone and felt so damn happy to be alive.   I asked God for another 40, not that heaven isn't wonderful or anything but I love life.  I love feeling vital and young youngish and healthy.  I even thought of a Pollyanna perk to my sore back:   I never stay in bed in the mornings as the pain is always bad when I wake up.  Even on holidays I am up at 6.30am which means I get an extra long day.   Sunday morning Sofie and I met BF Jen and we hiked up the Helderberg mountain to the waterfall.   I had to go to church looking sweaty and not so much.  I was vain enough to change my hiking shoes and remove my buff which protects the back of my neck from getting sunburned.   I looked so lesbo in the outfit and I thought with all my passionate talk of gay rights and that outfit, I might just make people thinking I have climbed out the closet. 

Sunday day was chilling and then back down to the tennis court to play with Colleen and Glenda for over 2 hours.  I cannot believe we stopped playing tennis for so many years.  I LOVE it and the fact that I am pretty suck does not dampen my enthusiasm.  We laugh and yell and vloek and sweat and its like a mini holiday.   I have to admit my back is really sore today so possibly overdoing it somewhat.?!   I did do a short hours walk with Bee and Claire this morning so now I think my body is ready.

I appreciate all the prayers and good wishes and energy sent my way.  I love the love.   The fear of dying did lessen when my dad told me HE prayed.   He said his last prayer was for Tertia to have a child and she got a whole heap of extra critters so he reckons he is good at this praying thing.  With requests coming once a decade I figure God would be pretty willing to answer such an undemanding man.   Another 40 years please Jesus.   I appreciate my life, I squeeze out every last drop, I try and live my life with excellence and do it the best way I know how.  I LOVE my kids and Gary.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my children more than I could ever express and I need to be here to raise them.    I hope to write in a few days all better and my mouth no longer painful but back to normal.  I want the end of 2012 now and I want healing and a fresh start without pain and discomfort.  I want to fly, I want to live, I want to thrive, I want to grow and I am grateful for the gift of my life.  

PS:   I will get Gary to post on FB tomorrow post op and tell you all how well it went.